Module Two Burkhart Center Home TTU Special Education Module One Module Three

Once Upon an Overload

A Narrative By Rachele Jones

It was a chilly February day when I had to take my son to the psychologist for the three-year re-evaluation for special education. A few brave trees had begun to put leaves on, but most were still twigs awaiting the miracle of spring. The wind had been whipping the dead leaves from this last winter about, and I tried getting the crunchy corpses of leaves gone by out of my hair as we entered the office.

As is common in a house with Asperger’s Syndrome, a form of autism spectrum disorder, we had visited for several weeks about coming to the psychologist for this evaluation, so both my son and I were ready, or so I thought. The office was finely decorated with expensive art and several Victorian style chairs. The only thing that was missing was the classical music to relax the soul. But, alas, to my son’s and my horror there was no classical music, rather the office was filled with the sound of a dot matrix printer. I’m not sure if you are familiar with a dot matrix printer yet if you have ever heard one, you will recognize the da.. da..da..da..da..da and the culminating high pitched squeal before it starts the da..da..da..da..da sounds again.

I knew that the sound was unnerving but I was the faithful mother and remained in the office while my son went to visit with the psychologist. I tried looking at the artwork. She had some lovely landscapes, oh the noise! I attempted to redirect my attention to the beautiful craftsmanship of the chairs, how the dark wood legs and arms curved just so, but the noise! I wanted to cover my ears so that the noise could not reach me but, if I wanted to look normal, I would have to keep trying to cope with the overstimulation. I tried observing the pattern on the carpet so as not look out of place with the other people now filling the waiting room of this office, and then I noticed that my hands were shaking.

Physically my insides were turning to a thick jelly to the sound of the dot matrix printer. I tried playing music over the headphones for my computer, my breathing calmed a little but my hands still shook like I had just been terrified. I guess in some ways I was terrified, what if the people in the waiting room of this office noticed? Being able to control oneself is important, isn’t it? This struggled increased my anxiety concerning the overload.

It wasn’t long before the sound of the dot matrix printer was squealing through my headphones. I started hoping that my son would come out quickly. I was beginning to panic, I needed to remove myself from the stimulus but I could not abandon the office! Well, to make a long story shorter, my son eventually did come out of the psychologist’s office but when he did he was advising her to get with the 21st century and get an improved printer. The comment is funny now, now that I have fully recovered from the overload but at that moment I obeyed social protocol, smiled at the good doctor, grabbed my son’s hand and nearly ran out of the office! It took several more hours before I had recovered completely.

So, what is a meltdown or an overload? It is a physical response to a stimulus or stimuli within the environment beyond the control of the person. It is helplessness, panic, irritation, aggravation, anxiety, and so much more wrapped into one body for as long as the stimulus exists. An overload can occur from too much sound, touch, light, and much more. However it is an individual response.

As one person once stated, "If you've seen one autistic, you've seen one autistic."

 

2005 Burkhart Center for Autism Education & Research